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20 things that make me hate travelling...

1: The mother with four children who booked only one seat.

2: The guy next to you who can’t stop coughing.

3: The old man who eats everything offered by hawkers only to unknowingly (or knowingly) terrorize you with silencers, a.k.a undercover farts.

4: The new mother in the front seat who removes her baby’s poop then throws it out the window. Physics: some crap is destined to come your way.

5: The singing pastor who begins after everyone else in the bus is asleep.

6: The Lunje who travels with his pet cockerel; it crows every hour.

7: The politician: he probably understands the pros and cons of politics and shouts them all aloud. Despite the fact that the nominations in question, are for the primary school sub- locational assistant secretary’s post.

8: The dude who falls asleep and drools all over your shoulder.

9: The armpit dude with serious BO issues, and the chick with too much perfume.

10: The dude who sits as if he is carrying the African continent between his legs.

11: The chick next to you who behaves as if you are a leper; each time your shirt touches her jacket she flinches and sneers at you.

12: The drunkard who stops the bus driver every 30 minutes to use the bushes.

13: The lovers; thinking that the back seat is as isolated as Guantanamo Bay.

14: The newspaper guy: he borrows your paper and goes away with your magazine pullout.

15: The socks guy; he removes his shoes, shuts the window and spreads out his toes in total disregard of the fumes from his feet.

16: The smooth operator; looks around the bus to identify single ladies…then stalks them at the first stop over.

17: The carjacker; acting out his childhood Rambo fantasy using live bullets on humans.

18: The careless driver and the rude tout; they don’t give a s**t if your brains and guts spill all over the tarmac.

19: The cop who will let an overloaded death trap pass him by for a few notes.

20: Finally, you; the passenger who will willingly get into an already full matatu.

Feel free to add to the list.


Rahellita said...

21.The bus driver who puts music of God-knows-what genre and you have to listen to it for more than 8hrs.
22.The seat next to a window that just cannot close.It's night breeze all the way baby!
23.The guy whose seated on your seat but will not move out because he's getting off on the next stage.
24.The tout who, as he returns your change, sticks his finger up his nose, and his finger nails come out worse than they were before.
25.The tout who screams, "faster siste!"as if he's about to miss the next ball game.

Rahellita said...

25. the tout who decides because garis are few on that route he'll charge you 60 bob and now that its election time and there are no cops on the road, you'll share your 60 bob seat with another person so that you're now in a 4 seater instead of 3 seater.

wes said...

no. 25 is an absolute pisser!!