1: The mother with four children who booked only one seat.
2: The guy next to you who can’t stop coughing.
3: The old man who eats everything offered by hawkers only to unknowingly (or knowingly) terrorize you with silencers, a.k.a undercover farts.
4: The new mother in the front seat who removes her baby’s poop then throws it out the window. Physics: some crap is destined to come your way.
5: The singing pastor who begins after everyone else in the bus is asleep.
6: The Lunje who travels with his pet cockerel; it crows every hour.
7: The politician: he probably understands the pros and cons of politics and shouts them all aloud. Despite the fact that the nominations in question, are for the primary school sub- locational assistant secretary’s post.
8: The dude who falls asleep and drools all over your shoulder.
9: The armpit dude with serious BO issues, and the chick with too much perfume.
10: The dude who sits as if he is carrying the African continent between his legs.
11: The chick next to you who behaves as if you are a leper; each time your shirt touches her jacket she flinches and sneers at you.
12: The drunkard who stops the bus driver every 30 minutes to use the bushes.
13: The lovers; thinking that the back seat is as isolated as Guantanamo Bay.
14: The newspaper guy: he borrows your paper and goes away with your magazine pullout.
15: The socks guy; he removes his shoes, shuts the window and spreads out his toes in total disregard of the fumes from his feet.
16: The smooth operator; looks around the bus to identify single ladies…then stalks them at the first stop over.
17: The carjacker; acting out his childhood Rambo fantasy using live bullets on humans.
18: The careless driver and the rude tout; they don’t give a s**t if your brains and guts spill all over the tarmac.
19: The cop who will let an overloaded death trap pass him by for a few notes.
20: Finally, you; the passenger who will willingly get into an already full matatu.
Feel free to add to the list.
